Noob Behaviour. By medball

Noob Behaviour. By medball

Postby kr1s74 » Mon Nov 02, 2009 9:53 pm

[quote="medball":32jhmclj]The Elders of CoD have held an emergency state meeting following reports of Noobish behaviour in CoD: W&W. The following has now been officially designated as Noobish behavour and must be stopped:

Cover & Concealment (aka "camping") - Conclealing oneself from the enemy behind hard cover and protecting an area of the battlespace has never been a military practice. This is what lazy, scaredy-cat Noobs do.

Taking Cover (aka "drop shooting") - Going prone while under fire makes no sense whatsoever; somebody is shooting at you, stand up and take it like a man. This is for dirt-eating Noobos.

Movement (aka "run n gunning" corrected after advice) - Moving around the battlespace and engaging the enemy is also extremely unmilitary-like practice. Remember; if you\'re moving you\'re harder to hit and it\'s unfair! This is for overly-energetic Noobs.

Manoeuvre/Flanking (aka "Spawn Rape") - Approaching the enemy from any other angle than head-on is unacceptable. Remember, it is not the responsibility of the enemy to protect their flank, it is the responsibility of you to leave it alone! This is for spatially-aware Nooby Noobs.

Co-Operation (aka Team Play) - Working as a team is counter-productive. It means you are broken down slower and harder to kill. This makes games last unecessarily long or short. This also means people with no friends don\'t do as well. Practices such as reviving each other and applying covering fire are forbidden. This is for weak Noobs who don\'t dare go it alone.

Equipment Selection - Selecting the most effective equipment for the job is exploitationalism and opportunism to the worst degree; even though all weapons and perks are available to everyody who has earned them. The Elders ask that you select only the equipment that is least suitable for the role. Take the example of the British Army, not the Americans, Israelis, Danes etc who use the correct kit... they\'re just Noobs.

The Elders thank you in advance for your co-operation.

Medball (CoD:W@W Elders Announcer)

Further material has come to light:
Vehicles - Vehicles in WAW are now designated as a "map decoration". They are not there for actual use. Vehicles have never been a part of warfare and should not be used in game play at any cost. If you find anyone that actually uses a vehicle, make sure that you stop what you are doing and send them a PSN informing them that they are not playing fair and using noobish tactics. If they continue to use the vehicle, report them to Sony immeadiately.

Snipers - It has been desgnated that sniping is unfair to anyone that uses a sub - machine gun as the sub machine gunners would have to stop and aim before returning fire. Plus the camo that snipers wear makes them hard to see and kill (see Cover and Concealment). So snipers are not to be used in gameplay starting immeadiately.

Kill Streaks - It has been deemed that utilizing the kill streaks feature in the game is unfair to the people that do not have one. Starting now, anytime that you have more then one kill (that would be two for those of you that don\'t like to count), you will be forced to stand and hold a live grenade for at least 6 seconds to even out the playing field.[/quote][/quote]
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