Rifle Grenade - All you need to know. By medball

Rifle Grenade - All you need to know. By medball

Postby kr1s74 » Mon Nov 02, 2009 9:03 pm

[quote="medball":1f4fgmmr]The Rifle Grenade or ‘Noob Tube’ has been a contentious subject within the forums for some time. This has compelled me to undergo 20 minutes of study and to produce a comprehensive report:

History of Rifle Grenades
The first usage of the rifle grenade dates back to the use of the musket in 18th century Belgium. Being the most populous and powerful nation in the world at the time, the great mountainous nation of Belgium was beset by internal turmoil and clan feuding. This inevitably triggered an arms race between the factions of the Flemish and Wallonians. The inaccuracy of muskets and the time it took to train people to use them was a problem in the escalating conflict. A simpler and more effective solution was sought.

A generation of weapon systems were created, designed to be attached to other firearms. The rifle grenade was born. Solving many of the problems faced by the faction commanders, the rifle grenade was simple to operate. So simple in fact, the users weren’t even required to be able to operate the weapon it was attached to. Also the projectiles it fired were self-guided using an inconvenience seeking system. Once it reached a specific altitude the munition would seek for the person who wanted to be hit the least at that precise moment and land either on them or a nearby explosive object.

The destructive potential of the weapon concerned the leaders on both sides. The Flemish and Wallonians started a production race to keep the destructive edge over their opponents. The idea being that neither side could attack the other without both sides being destroyed. This lead to a terrible conclusion. After a Stella Artois fuelled drinking binge, the Wallonian Down Hill Racing team caused offence to their Flemish rivals, further escalating matters.* Nobody knew who struck the first blow but less than 14 minutes after the war started the whole of Belgium and the rolling hills of the Netherlands lay in ruins. Battered flat and now largely below sea level, Belgium never recovered. The rifle grenade became derisively known as the “Noob Tubeâ€
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